some musings by the_ber...

Ladies & Gentlemen, it brings me such happiness to let...

Thu, 23 May 2013 14:18:46 -0700

Ladies & Gentlemen, it brings me such happiness to let everyone know it is official, I found a new apartment in #Hollywood. I signed the lease today and it is everything I was looking for in a place. So excited for my new adventure! #newme #newlife #dreamsbecomingreality #manifest

"…he saw the opportunity I suppose…"

Tue, 14 May 2013 09:55:35 -0700

““…he saw the opportunity I suppose…””

- Leonard DiCaprio/ Jay Gatsby in The Great Gatsby 2013

You are everything wonderful in my life, Mom. You have never...

Sun, 12 May 2013 12:39:58 -0700

You are everything wonderful in my life, Mom. You have never stopped being selfless and have given me the world and more. I hope to be at least half the woman you are. Thank you for your never ending love. “I love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my mommy you’ll be” 💕 #mothersday #ilovemymom #mommyslittlerebel #queen #lola

#BerWithInk 💉 #inkedup #tattootime | thank you to my bestie...

Fri, 03 May 2013 21:26:07 -0700

#BerWithInk 💉 #inkedup #tattootime | thank you to my bestie @jenconf for these amazing pictures and just being my amazing support system. #loveyoulongtime #jamber #forlife

Dinner on Beverly...

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 11:41:00 -0700

I sat at dinner, enjoying every bit of, the convo, the food, the wine, the food… Good Italian food is hard to find in LA for a girl who has had home cooked Italian, since she was a little one. Terroni is definitely the best spot to fill an Italian urge. For me there is definitely a “homey” feel for it, maybe it’s because I know the owner and she is huge on family. But I think it’s because the food is hands down, amazing. So I was enjoying every bite, every smell, EVERYTHING. (I could blog for hours on how Terroni is amazing, I won’t because I’m not a food critic or a self proclaimed “foodie” [I strongly dislike that word BTW]). The night was going on in a beautiful way, it really was a lovely evening, when at one point I realized the whole room was filled to the brim with hungry customers. It was loud, and just fantastic, completely the city I feel in love with.

I ended up looking around and my eye caught the face of a patron who was headed my way, led by the hostess, and immediately my heart sank. There he was, a ghost of boyfriends past headed my way, or so I thought. I felt a flush of red draw up my neck and peek it’s way on my cheeks, my stomach was knotting and I was silently sitting there freaking out.

For all my former (and current) “Sex and the City” watchers out there, there was an episode where Carrie was seeing Mr. Big in every man that passed her in the lovely city of NYC. And in that moment in Terroni, I sat there paralyzed in conversation while I thought a former of mine headed my way. As he got closer, I panicked more, NEVER in a million years did I ever think I would see him again, ESPECIALLY here. He’s not even supposed to be living here anymore, why would he be at my spot! Mind you this is all happening in real time (which was probably a matter of 30 seconds…) He finally is basically at my table and leans over and says ‘Hey’, and at the moment I realize it was not my former by any means and just a friendly guy that looked an extreme amount like my former.

This sadly is not the first time, this has happened in the past month. There was been a few moments I’ve been out with the bestie, and pulled her over and said “AH! What “Patron at the Bar Next to Us” just did totally reminded me of “Former Boyfriend I Will Not Name”“. The other night I awoke, the way I most love to awake (being completely sarcastic by the way!) in tears, gasping for breath, because of a terrible dream that involved him. WHY?! Why after all this time is he still popping up not only in my city but in my dreams? I did blog a couple weeks ago about just wanting to have my friend back and just defragging my life with him, and maybe I need to drop that thought because clearly that thought has spilled into my unconscious and beyond.

Dinner turned out to be amazing, and so did dessert, and of course the walk down Beverly afterwards. Los Angeles, for me has helped pick up the pieces of a heart thrice broken (twice by the same dude), and helped me rebuild. Los Angeles has helped me figure out that I can love again ( a city that is capable of a love and a hate at the same damn time!) Los Angeles most certainly has my heart. I’m a very lucky girl, like I’ve expressed a billion times over and I have these beautiful experiences that maybe wouldn’t happen to me anywhere else. Nights, like the one I described above, are something I live for, to have these crazy hallucinations of ghosts of boyfriends past and to be able to laugh about them with a possible “future” in front of me.

Love && Los Angeles,

-ber.

**Sidenote - if you are in the Los Angeles area, looking for a good food joint check out Terroni (on Beverly), you will NOT regret it. And it is right down the street from the ever popular Grove.

i once had a heart. It got ripped out, torn up, then stepped on....

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 15:57:59 -0700

i once had a heart. It got ripped out, torn up, then stepped on. There is nothing left inside of me. Make me feel again, make me love.

There’s this amazing #AMERICAN clothing line that is...

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 11:55:55 -0700

There’s this amazing #AMERICAN clothing line that is donating 💯% of the profit to the help those affect by the #Boston bombings. I got mine and can’t wait to rock it. Order one at www.declarationclothing.com and we could be twins, will helping out! #prayers #unitedwestand #america

For A World in Need...

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 10:50:00 -0700

Driving to work today, I was listening to what was going on in Watertown, MA and just heartbroken. I mean take a step back and look at whats going on in the world we live in.Every month there is another shooting, a crazed person taking anger, frustration, and pain out on innocent lives. Bombings, in a land where we should be able to feel safe.

The situation of the country I live in really has thrown me. I’ve been listening to the news, hearing my friends talk, and I don’t know how to respond. I mean obviously it’s sad, heartbreaking and then that turns to frustration because can’t we as a people just get it together? There is also a feeling of helplessness, I mean with these types of attacks, although the crazed person has been planning them, they are random for people around, the ones that actually are affected.

The shootings in Newtown, CT hit home for me. Newtown is about 15 minutes from where I grew up. I remember the sinking feeling when I got the first text that said, “I just heard about the shooting. Is your family alright?” Christmas time had been stressful at work, lots to do and I wasn’t checking any form of news station on the reg. So when you get a text like that not knowing any details, being so far for the family that the text speaks of, you freak. I immediately texted back “What shootings” and dropped what I was doing and began my internet search. “At the school, there was a shooting at a school in CT, and I know you have family there”, the text I got back. Immediately my mind raced again, I have a younger brother who most definitely would be in school, and what about all my cousins? My heart hurt. Thank God, that my family were not physically affected by the shootings, but in a way we all kind of were affected. Your mind gets twisted hearing about these little kids, even with the bombings I began asking myself, “this is what our world has come to, what the f#$K is next?”

You ask why this happens, and there never is a good enough reason to satisfy that question. For me, it seems like the world is at an end. That we do need a gosh damn change. Because this world is a mess. We need to get our acts together, because we are all headed to end if not. I’m sorry this post isn’t too positive but this is how I’m feeling, helpless, lost and confused. For me, I pray that things turn around (praying may not be your thing, and I completely understand, that’s why I said for me). With everything in me, I hope that my readers, followers and friends’ families are all okay. My heart goes out to those families that have lost ones in these recent tragedies. It is horrible and I can’t even imagine how you feel. My prayer is for the world, that we all find it in our hearts to change for the better.

Love && Hope,

-ber.

i simply love her. and she is spitting the truth in this quote.

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 11:32:10 -0700

i simply love her. and she is spitting the truth in this quote.

Events && Effort

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 15:48:00 -0700

It was Sunday morning, I was sitting cross-legged on my chair at Coogie’s (in Malibu) with this amazing “steak rancheros” breakfast dish sitting in front of me. I was trying to curb the hangover that had developed from the previous night’s activities (a 25th birthday for my BFF). A little “event” had happened at this birthday party that was reeling in my head, while I ate and stared at a couple at the table in front of me. I immediately got this rush of “feelings” basically, like the couple in front of me opened my eyes into something, I think I internally have known for a while.

Now first let me say, the couple wasn’t doing anything obnoxious, no PDA, no fighting. Nothing. However the girl had a look on her face, like she just wasn’t having fun. Yes, I know that I do not know this couple from a hole in the wall, but she just looked uncomfortable. Which trailed my internal conversation to the fact that having a boyfriend is so much work. Work I necessarily don’t really feel like doing right now. This makes me sound lazy, miserable and every other bad adjective but hear me out! Let’s be honest for a moment, shall we… I have pushed every potential relationship starter out the door. Forced something to be wrong, or maybe just wasn’t feeling it anyways. Maybe an “event” from the night before put a “bad taste” in my mouth for relationships ( that last line was completely an inside joke, but I HAD to put that in here). Maybe the “event” from the previous night tarnished the idea of a relationship I was kinda feeling. Thus my cynical view on relationships all together.

I think it’s officially time to announce my retirement from relationships, start taking care of myself a little more, loving myself a little more, being me a little more. Maybe this whole new view that has made itself clear in my eyes, has come around because all the guys that have come into my life have been duds and I’m waiting for the one that makes me feel like fireworks on the fourth of July. Makes me want to put forth the effort that a promising relationship requires. Maybe it will happen, maybe it won’t. What I do know is that everything will fall into place.

Love && Effort,

-ber.

PS - I truly hope that couple is happy, and maybe they were so excited about eating they didn’t want to look “in love”.

3 hours...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 17:36:37 -0700

What I have learned living in this beautiful state is that there is a reason to celebrate every night of the week. My Monday nights have turned into Friday nights for the past four months. Monday rolls around, and I know exactly what spot BFF and I are hitting. It really is like the bar in “Cheers” where everyone knows your name. We walk in and hellos and hugs are exchanged with the “usual’s”. Lots of laughs, stories and beverages. Four months of, on a “good night”, an hour of sleep, on a “bad night” three hours. I’m not going to lie, I’m exhausted and this week is, of course, jammed with drinks, dinners, meetings and hang-outs.

When did getting to be an adult become exhausting? I say this ALWAYS the moment before I go out - I would love to stay home and watch ‘Mad Men’ or ‘Downton Abbey”, but the reality is I’m the one that’s jammed my calendar, filled my dance card, packed my days into nights. I’m exhausted but let’s be truthful for a second, there’s nothing I’d rather be doing then hopping from drinks,to a meeting, to dinner, to a comedy show or two. I’m in the best place to do it too.

Love && City Lights,

-ber.

#persianexcursion #persianpopprincess #pseudoshah #shahsofsunset...

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 20:13:02 -0700

#persianexcursion #persianpopprincess #pseudoshah #shahsofsunset (at Shiraz)

perfection in a poem.

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 17:34:29 -0700

perfection in a poem.

Such Great Heights.

Mon, 18 Mar 2013 17:45:00 -0700

I have so much to tell you, but no words to say it. I’d love to tell you the funny situations that have been placed in my life, I’d love for you to make fun of the way I tell the story, and then give me advice. I miss our chats, I truly do.

For reasons beyond me, you were the only person to ever objectively see me, and listen to me. Maybe it is because you didn’t love me. Maybe it’s because we should have just always been friends. As much as I don’t want to say it, I do miss our long talks, even if you had to pry information out of me. Telling you about my adventures of the day, was always my favorite part of the day.

I have so much to tell you. So much.

Love && Long Talks,

-ber.

From the runways in Paris...

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 08:51:00 -0800

I’m not a fashion blogger by any means. Well I love fashion, I take part in trends and anti-trends, read up on the colors of the season, and what styles are making their name on the runway and have been a Vogue subscriber for officially nine years. Fashion has always had that “je ne sais quoi” in my heart. I love it, I hate it, I want to smother myself with it, and then need to stay away from it. Fashion has pushed me to make some giants leaps, moving from Connecticut to California (tiny leap,right?) to ordering loads of rain boots before rain boots were a “thing” and getting made fun of on their behalf. It sounds like my relationship with fashion is more of an addiction, and well baby I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole and am a full blown addict.

It’s always an exciting time of year when “Fashion week” pops up. For me, it symbolizes change. Not only are the runways giving forth the new styles of the upcoming seasons but the weather is slowly creeping to the next season. For some reason or another I have fully dove in head first with Paris Fashion Week, and it has definitely made a splash on my heart.

Things I have LOVED:

I know exactly the place to start this, one name, two words, and a whole lotta loving… ALEXANDER MCQUEEN. The line has always been on the radar for me, when McQueen himself ran it I mean it was pure genius. Under the creative genius of Sarah Burton, I mean it’s heaven. Literally the Fall ready to wear line that graced the OTT Opéra Comique, was divided into five very Catholic subgroups: communion, nuns, cardinals, popes, and angels. In my eyes, obsession. From the minute I saw the first few pieces, on my instagram feed, I knew I couldn’t get enough! The beading and lace is really otherworldly, but my favorite, oh my very favorite were these darling finger “gloves”. I want, I want, I want! Sarah Burton, my hat (and soon be finger gloves) are off to you and your genius. Working for the house of McQueen must elevate you to truly another level.

I’ve always appreciated VALENTINO, but never truly loved it. Creative, Italian, and Gorgeous, yes. On my radar, not really, until the Fall 2013 ready to wear line. They said it was inspired by The Girl With The Pearl Earring, but all I saw and fell in love with was it reminded me of a “Haute” Wednesday Adams (YES from the Adam’s Family). It was a new spin on the LBD, and as a girl that loves her LBDs, I was falling for all of these. Valentino, you blew me away.

Being blown away, and only having a LBD means you really need a winter coat. And CHANEL gave just that. Delicious coats of all sizes, that made this (now I can comfortable say, self-proclaimed) California girl, yearn for colder weather. These coats, very CHANEL, and then some. We all expect black and white, but this season we got black and white and then some blue. The Chanel runway was making me second guess the thoughts of wanting a boyfriend, when really all you need is a really fabulous coat, to keep you warm at night.

Oh LANVIN, oh Albert Elbaz, how I love you with a capital L. Really I would like every single dress from this collect and the amazing assortment of jewels that went along with it. The lace, the fur, the silk, were a sight for soar eyes, and really left me wanting more more more!!!! A thing I did love were the “word” necklace. I wear a moniker neck piece, and really adore it. My necklace goes either way for people they love it or they think I’m “hood”. LANVIN helped solidify that having words on your neck piece is NOT hood, but helpful. The words “HELP”, “LOVE”, “COOL” and even “LANVIN” made an appearance on the runway, showing that it’s good to wear your words around your neck (moniker included)! It was just gorgeous and I LOVEd it!

Riccardo Tisci’s genius for GIVENCHY, killed me! Really all I can say about GIVENCHY is that it is just bad ass fashion that is fun. I really thought it was fantastic and playful. But really I can say there is something about GIVENCHY that always draws me in. I feel like it’s the perfect mix of “boyfriend sweaters” with girly skirts. Everything about it screams, wear me, at least for me.

I feel like a few shows deserve an HONORABLE MENTION. ELIE SAAB, had great colors, that blue, oh my god!!!! HAKAAN, very trendy, featured a great full length, one shoulder gown in black, that needs to be on my body like NOW! GARETH PUGH, I feel I slightly favor this because of my fashion school days. I had to do a project on GARETH PUGH, and well I got such a good grade I vowed I’d never bad mouth GP. This line was very ethereal, however I felt like I’ve seen the design before, it didn’t wow me. CHRISTIAN DIOR, j’adore. I felt like the line was classic Dior, which you can’t go wrong with but it only fell in my honorable mention category. BALENCIAGA, I feel like it’s on the verge of being a love. Alexander Wang made his debut this season with BALENCIAGA, and I think we can only look forward to getting more beautiful things out of this man. The line was simply gorgeous, truly! It did make me think, “New York to it’s finest”, and of course being an East Coaster I appreciated that. And last but not least RODARTE, I loved a lot of the dresses. Was a fan of none of the shoes! I felt like it was a huge mixture of “springy” dresses and what looked like crocheted sweaters. It was okay.

Over all I’ve really liked what I’ve seen. I feel like if I saw these collections in person I may fall more in love. Until then can we find a way to get me those fabulous MCQUEEN gloves?!

Love && Fashion Lust,

-ber.

As a child I had this extremely irrational fear that a t.rex...

Fri, 08 Mar 2013 10:05:00 -0800

As a child I had this extremely irrational fear that a t.rex would attack me. It was really silly because I mean a t.rex’s arms are far too short to grab me and if he did try to grab me, his head would get in the way! DUH!

I’m feeling silly. Enjoy your Friday lovers :)

((picture featured, is a very tiny ber with my cousin probably extremely early 90’s))

Do my thing on the catwalk...

Wed, 06 Mar 2013 13:35:48 -0800

Behold. Paris Fashion Week is upon us. So far in love with a lot of what I’m seeing. Can’t wait to blog about my favs.

My road to where I am in my life has definitely been a catwalk. Fashion has always been in my blood, from the time I was little and telling the camcorder I was going to be a model, to finally graduating fashion school. When fashion week (month/ season/ year) comes and what the designers have given the world is here, it really makes me feel rejuvenated. A new season, atleast for me, brings upon a new fashion hope…

Love & Fashion,

-ber.

Dying over what I’m seeing from the Alexander #McQueen...

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 10:49:16 -0800

Dying over what I’m seeing from the Alexander #McQueen #AW13 womenswear presentation. THOSE GLOVES!!! #iwant #fashion // pics from @worldmcqueen 😍

Which one is the real #garnier ad? Hey Garnier do you need a new...

Mon, 04 Mar 2013 12:48:32 -0800

Which one is the real #garnier ad? Hey Garnier do you need a new #brunette Garnier girl?! @thelmapreza thank you for noticing this love it!!!! #hair #balloons #happy

That splash of color in a black and white world.

Sun, 03 Mar 2013 13:28:50 -0800

That splash of color in a black and white world.